Why Are You So Quiet, Josiah?


I recently Shared that meme on my Facebook and then it got me thinking. We as people need to become more sensitive to the personality types of others; and their feelings.

The message is correct, introverts are none of those negative things listed in the picture. The title of this post is a question plenty of introverts get all the time. And most of the time we feel that when asked that question that who we are is suddenly an affront to the rest of the world. Sometimes others like extroverts or ambiverts are being insensitive by asking “Hey why so quiet?”. It can come off as if its all about someone else and who we are isn’t enough; as if you (whoever you are) have the right to control us or the tempo of the social exchange like lunch, hangouts, parties, etc.

But then I tried to put myself in the extrovert’s shoes, the cool ones. Maybe I need to be more open to what other people are really asking me when they pose that #1 question that puts me on the defensive. Maybe it’s their way of wanting to know, genuinely, what do I have or want to contribute vocally for a minute?

Because the truth is, if I’m as observant and and subtle as legend states introverts are, then maybe I should try to listen past the words I hear and try to find the emotion behind the question. Listen past the obvious. Maybe there is something there and maybe not, and it might be tiresome at first, but I’m going to try to do this more often. I mean, its not like I wake up looking for ways to take offense to simple questions like that one. If an extrovert or even fellow introvert (and yes we are more than our personality type) wants to know why I’m so quiet at a given moment, maybe we are both being given a chance to be authentic.

So if I’m not a snob, perhaps I should keep my eyes from rolling and try to be real.

“Oh I’m always quiet when I watch TV!”

“Oh, we’re as entertaining as TV?”

“Yeah, in fact have you watched…?”

It might not go that way exactly, but maybe we introverts can afford to loosen up.




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